Call a Cousin

One question a week, answered by the people you sort of know.

the need

Nobody hands you a playbook for your 20s and 30s. The funny thing is, you already know people who've figured out real pieces of it — an old roommate who changed careers, a former coworker who moved cities, a neighbor who somehow makes adult life look manageable. But there's never a natural moment to ask them. So we all end up asking the same three close friends, who mostly know what we already know.

My friends and I needed a way to ask the wider circle. That's the whole idea.

what it is

Call a Cousin puts up one question each week — the kind you'd want an honest answer to from a slightly older cousin. Answers come from people someone actually thought to invite, not strangers on the internet. To read this week's answers, you add your own first. Past weeks stay open for anyone to browse.

who it's for

People in their 20s and 30s trying to figure out how to live a good life without a playbook. Honestly, I have my younger cousins in mind. And younger me.

what I learned building it

• The distance helps. People you sort of know have lived different lives than your close friends, and they don't have to see you at Sunday dinner — so they tell you things your close friends can't or won't.
• No upvotes, on purpose. The moment answers get ranked, people start writing for the crowd instead of the person asking.
• Answering before reading changes what people say. When you can't see everyone else's answers first, you say what you actually think.

where it is now

Still early — I'm shaping the format and picking the first week's question. If you'd want to answer a question like this, or you know someone who gives great slightly-older-cousin advice, get in touch.

Have a question you wish you could ask the wider circle? Send it to me →